So there i was heading back to the Mainland from the
Islands where i had gone to pay my little brother's allowance into his bank account. Well, ever
since the BRT buses commenced operation in Lagos; i
prefer boarding them to our original danfo(s) and
molue(s). Anyway i bought a ticket, got on the bus and decided for the first
time to sit at the front, i had no idea i was going to watch a real life movie.
The bus was almost filled up when a fat heavy-duty woman came on board with her
two friends, from the look of things and their bags; they were surely market
women who had gone shopping for goods to take home and retail. You know, when
you come on board, you give your ticket to the conductor who tears it into
two and gives you back half, just in case something happens and you have to
board another bus, or you get to the point where you have to submit your ticket
for the other half of the trip. In most cases the Pilot/Driver
is Male while the Conductor is Female. So the movie started like this;
Fat Woman:
hands her ticket over to the conductor.
![]() |
The Pilot and the Conductor: back view after the fight..hehehe |
(And
she is busy looking for where to sit as the bus was almost filled).
Female
Conductor: Tears
and hand it over, but while the woman was busy looking for a spot to sit and
the conductor was calling on her and getting no response, she threw the ticket
on the floor.
Another
Passenger:
Ha ha, why did you have to throw the ticket on the floor, she didn't hear you.
(By
now the woman had gotten a seat and heard her ticket was thrown to the floor.)
Fat Woman: Why
would you throw my ticket on the floor, i gave it to you in your hands so you
have to give me back the same way.
Female
Conductor:
*Hisses* I was calling on you to have it but since you didn't respond, well be
my guest and pick it up from the floor yourself or don't pick it, that's your
business.
hmm, i just watched
with interest as the drama unfolded and so did the Pilot who totally faced the
steering and ignored their ranting.
Fat Woman: Chei,
okay, you don't pick up my ticket, we shall see, you must pick it and give me by
hand otherwise i won’t pick it.
Female
Conductor:
*Hisses again* Picks the ticket and flung it towards the fat woman to the seat
beside hers.
Fat Woman:
Looks at the conductor, takes her tickets and says it's not your fault.
Female
Conductor:
*Hisses again* and calls the fat woman 'ODE' in Yoruba language meaning
*FOOL* and still eyeballs her.
Fat Woman:
says Han Han, looks at her, got up from her seat, confronts her and challenge her
for insulting her.
Female
Conductor:
Stands her ground and Locks the Fat woman's blouse threatening to tear it.
Me: Well, the battle
began, *slapping, biting, scratching, head butting, tearing blowing* etc; all
these mostly from the Fat woman. The Pilot also watched and so did every other
person in the bus, until a male passenger who was still outside, came into the
bus to settle the quarrel; the fat lady was asked to get down and got her
ticket back with a shredded blouse.
My
Opinion:
I know you must be thinking by now, where's the video, well i did not dare
bring out my phone to record the battle, but i got the crime scene photo for you
readers (hehehe) though, as well as the back view of the Female Conductor. I don't
support fighting in public for whatsoever reason but i think the Conductor got
the beating for having a sharp mouth. It’s called customer service, and she
should have been more polite in her dealings with the fat woman. The only thing
that pained me is the fact that she still believed she was right after all was
settled. A simple, am sorry ma, take your ticket would have sufficed. Or what
do you think???
Lol, Never a dull moment in lagos, even the blind can see, this captures it in ernest, from the lowest of customer care relationship to brute force shown in order to enforce rights. Nice write up Moji,
ReplyDeleteEko for show, thanks Ade. This is Naija for ya. God help us all.
ReplyDeleteI lik dis blog...if u giv us mor of dis daily den I fink u makin d world a beta place....try promote d fight next tyme 4 a beta nd mor interestin episode...lmao
ReplyDeletelol. thanks. But this your idea of promoting the fight is what i don't get o, u want me to end up with coco-pops on my head baah?
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